If I Could Be So Bold

Things bother me more then I should let them. Stuff not worth complaining about or taking issue with in real life. What better place to tell you all about it.

  1. What’s up with the volume increase when a commercial comes on? This is a daily nuisance for me, as I find myself constantly adjusting volume when I watch TV. Universal healthcare? What about universal volume level for all channels! The first politician to take on this issue, receives an instant vote.
  2. Okay, it’s understandable if you sometimes leave your Bluetooth headset on when you are not using it. But if you leave it on because you have the mistaken impression that it looks cool, you are a douchebag. So don’t walk around the store or attend a meeting wearing it, if you have no intention to use it. It is pocket-sized for a reason. This is not jewelry, some earring from the future. People do not admire you for having one. It’s an ear mullet! Hey, untuck your hawaiian shirt while you’re at it!
  3. For the love of god, FLUSH!! Then turn around and check for stragglers. But, of course, this is not you or any of your friends. You just find this surprise in every public restroom in America.  Is it some sort of brown trophy to be admired? If you must, do it in your home. but I guess that never happens, does it!
  4. Laughing at your own jokes makes me cringe. If someone finds you funny, it is perfectly allright to join in on their mirth… but if you find yourself to be the funniest one in the room, you have issues!
  5. It’s great if you have passion for all the important things you do all day. But when you recount all the deals you swing, stuff you have and people you hang with… take a moment to think what this gains you? If you show a little interest in those you trapped, you might actually learn something new.

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